


Blood-Red Colors

by orphan_account



Category: Tales of the Abyss
Genre: M/M, look at that uke Asch, omg this is my OTP, slight AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-23
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-01-16 16:38:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1354297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>EDIT: this has been discontinued. sorry to everyone who liked this!</p><p>Luke realizes he's in love with Asch, and he doesn't know why, but Asch seems to (possibly) share the same feelings. After a meeting under the moon, they meet again in Eldrant. When Luke senses Asch's injury, he immediately rushed back to save him. What will happen! A little AU from the original Plot Line but yeah. Review please! :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1  
“I love you.” the moment the words escaped my lips, I regretted them. Did I even know their true meaning? No. Well, maybe. I had loved Master Van. But that was different. So much different. I knew that the moment he heard those words he didn’t believe them. How could a replica love their original?  
“You…” he looked away, his words lost. There was stillness in the air that I didn’t like. “You idiot…” when his eyes met mine, I almost gasped. They were so filled with sadness it was almost a tangible thing. A strange urge rose in me, and I grabbed his shoulders. Almost instantly I was shoved away violently, and he proceeded to stare at the ground. I couldn’t stand it.  
“Asch… Look at me.” I said softly. He didn’t. “Asch, please. Your eyes… I…”  
“Leave me alone.” his words caught in a sob. What had I said to call upon such emotions? Usually he was a fiery ball of anger.  
I took a step closer and he flinched, but I kept moving. A situation like this… I understood what he wanted.  
So I hugged him. I felt the breath escape his lungs from the sudden force. We stood there awkwardly for a moment before he reluctantly clutched the sides of my coat. This is as much as I’m gonna get, huh? I thought. The sloppy embrace lasted for I-don’t-know-how-long until finally, I let go. His face… was beautiful. The moonlight highlighted his angles and shadowed them brilliantly.  
“Asch…”  
“Don’t you know what ‘leave me alone’ means?” he was calmer than I expected.  
“Of course I do… And I know you didn’t mean it.”  
“Why would I say that if I didn’t mean it?!” his temper suddenly flared.  
“You meant the opposite. I know, okay? I’ve felt like that countless times.” I knew that what I was saying wasn’t getting through to him; it was futile, but I tried anyway.  
“No, you haven’t! You don't know what I—you don’t know what I’ve been through!” there was silence.  
“It’s true. I don’t. But that doesn’t give you an excuse.”  
“An excuse to what?!”  
“An excuse to be alone.” finally, I had found the right words to shut him up. He stared at me with expressionless shock. How I could be so insightful, I didn’t know.  
It was a while before either of us had the courage to say anything.  
“How do you feel about me?” I asked. His expression wavered. Would this be a difficult question to answer? It seemed simple enough for him, anyway.  
“I hate you,” he said, “but I also… I also know that it wasn’t your fault.” What? “You didn’t ask to exist and ruin my life. It was all chosen for you, thus you were born. All for Van’s twisted plan. I know it wasn’t your fault, but how can I not hate you? A replica, a mere replacement, took everything from me! Everyone I loved and all of the moments belonging solely to me were suddenly yours. How could I not hate you?  
“There are times when I feel… something else for you. Something I don't want to feel. So, I try to push it away and tell myself that it’s hate, hate, and hate, all around. ‘Remember what he’s done to you. He took everything. Only hate.’ But sometimes… sometimes I can’t push it away and it scares me! My feelings get the better of me and I…!” he finished his rant, flushed and breathless.  
I thought about everything he had said. I thought for sure that he hated me with all his might, but some part of him understood. Just hearing those words made me love him all the more. To see his face so pained… and lost… it made my chest clench tightly, and then he looked me right in the eyes, and I couldn’t breathe. Time seemed to stop for just that moment as I drank in all of his glory. His eyes were emeralds polished to spherical beauty and his face was feathery. His hair… was bright and deep red, like blood, and the way it shimmered reminded me of it.  
Suddenly, he was in my arms and I was kissing him and it was wonderful. He tasted like nothing and everything and it was amazing. He kissed back and my chest hurt so badly all I could do was clutch him tighter. His hands were calloused on my face but it felt perfect. It was the most perfect thing ever to happen. When the need for oxygen ripped me from that I almost whined.  
Asch was even more beautiful when his cheeks were flushed red. He looked embarrassed. I longed to kiss them so I did and he pulled tightly at my short hair, his breathing short and ragged as I kissed a path to his jaw and then his ear and down to his neck.  
“L-Luke! Stop…” he tried shoving me away with the grip he had on my hair, and I backed away slightly.  
“Do you really mean that?”  
“…Yeah.” he looked a little sad as he said it, but I didn't want him to hate me even more so I obeyed.  
“Alright…” I was going to turn around and leave but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, so I embraced him again and whispered in his ear: “Just remember that I love you.”  
~oOo~  
I didn’t remember the walk back to the inn except for the full moon shining and the sadness I felt when I looked at it. When I finally flopped down on my bed, everyone noticed that something was wrong. I covered my eyes with my arm and sighed multiple times, reliving what had happened with Asch. I never even got a straight answer from him, and it hurt badly, but if I remembered our kiss it would be enough.  
“Luke, what’s wrong?” Guy asked. I felt his weight as he sat next to me on the bed.  
“It’s nothing.” Sigh.  
“Are you sure about that? It doesn’t seem like nothing.” he cleared his throat, “Ever since you got back from the meeting with Asch you’ve been really silent. Not to mention all those sighs.”  
“I said it’s nothing!” being questioned about this only brought tears to my eyes. I turned to my side and faced away from him.  
“Luke, I’m your friend. We can talk about this. I… I won’t judge you.”  
That last sentence shocked me badly enough that it got me to turn around and look at him. He had a brooding expression on his face.  
“Do you… Do you know?”  
“…I’m not sure, but I have an idea. Come on, let’s go outside.”  
I followed him willingly back into the chilly night air, and was greeted again by the moon. It was blinding and depressing.  
“Okay.” Guy grabbed hold of my shoulders and stared me straight in the eyes. “What are your feelings for Asch?” I flushed instantly and stammered out an answer.  
“W-Well, you see, I think I uh… I think I l-l-love him?” Guy looked at the floor and bit his lip.  
“You told him, didn’t you.”  
“W-Well! I had no choice… No, I just wanted to, I guess.”  
“How did he respond?”  
“He just… He just went into this long explanation about how he hated me but understood that it wasn’t my fault that I was born but I basically stole his life from him so how could he not hate me and then he said that he felt something else for me that scared him and he tried to subdue it but sometimes it got the best of him and then I…” I took a deep breath, “And then I kissed him and he… he uh… he kissed back and uh… then he told me to stop and then I uh… I left.”  
“Wow. Okay.” Guy sighed, obviously at a loss for what to do. “Well… I’m with you all the way, Luke. Just… Don’t tell the girls about this, okay? And you can be certain that Jade already knows. I swear, he’s a mind reader.”  
“Th-Thanks, Guy. But is it really all right that I’m in love with him? I mean… he’s my original and the enemy and Natalia’s in love with him. Those are very valid reasons why this is not okay.”  
“I understand what you’re saying, and I agree, but you’re my friend, so I’m with you. Got it?” he smiled softly and headed back inside, patting me on the shoulder as he passed.  
“’Kay.” I said under my breath and smiled. Guy really was an amazing friend. All those years, he knew I wasn’t the real Luke but he stayed with me. Even after I destroyed Akzeriuth, he came back for me. He waited! And now, even after this, he still stayed. It almost brought tears to my eyes.  
~oOo~  
“Ouch~!” I yelled as I landed on the floor. I had been walking with the group in Eldrant when suddenly the floor opened up beneath us and then I fell into this random room. I was even more shocked at the voice I heard in front of me.  
“Luke…?” It had been months since I’d seen Asch. If anything, he looked surprised. I couldn’t quite place exactly what it was. He walked toward me slowly, not bothering to unsheathe his weapon.  
“Asch…” I stood up awkwardly and clutched my head, still hurting a little from the fall. There would definitely be bruises tomorrow. I gulped. If I’m alive tomorrow.  
“I didn’t think I’d see you here.” he stopped about five feet in front of me.  
“I didn’t think I’d see you here either.” there was an awkward silence between us and I didn’t know what to fill it with. All I could think about was that night under the moon. Heat came to my cheeks as I remembered, and I looked away.  
“I think I need to confirm something.” I looked back at him, startled. My heart started pounding much harder than it should at what would come. Would he say he loved me? Or would he say I was trash like he almost always did?  
“Wh-What is it?” I gulped again.  
“Do you honestly, truly love me from the bottom of your soul?”  
“…I do. I really do, Asch. I know it’s hard to believe—“ He was suddenly in my face with his finger on my lips, and I flushed again.  
“I’m glad.” That’s one thing I didn’t expect to hear. “I’ve been thinking about things these past few months. About you, about the mission, and about Van, of course. And I’ve come to realize something. I think… I think I may love you too. I don’t know why this happened, but it’s not something I can fight… So I think I should go for it.” he looked nervous, and he took his finger off my lips.  
“Asch… I…! I’m so happy…” it literally felt like my chest was being crushed and tears came to my eyes, but I knew it was a happy thing because I couldn’t help but smiling. I came closer to him and embraced him tightly, burying my face in his shoulder. We stayed like that until we both remembered our reason for being there.  
He explained to me how to open the door, and that only one of us could go through, and we decided that I should go. He handed me the Key of Lorelei and opened the door for me and I continued on.  
On the path to Van, I suddenly had a grave feeling. It made me feel sick, and I suddenly sensed that Asch was in danger. He was injured, or maybe even dying. Did Oracle Knights attack him? I thought. Dammit! We should’ve traded swords! How could I have been so stupid?! I turned around hastily without even explaining to my companions and ran off to save him.  
~oOo~  
“ASCH!!!!!!” I screamed upon entering the room. I instantly spotted him. He was leaning against the wall, slumped, with two swords sticking out of his back. He lifted his head slightly and smiled weakly when he saw me.  
“Hey… Luke…” I kneeled beside him and assessed the situation. His wounds didn't seem too bad. A little stitches and lots of rest and he would be good to go.  
“What happened?” I said, holding his face.  
“Oracle… Knights… I didn’t have a sword…” a flash of anger ran through me when I remembered. If only we had traded swords… Asch would be fine!  
“I’m sorry about that. I completely forgot to trade swords with you.” I smacked my forehead against my palm.  
“It’s okay… but… I’m dying, Luke. You need to… keep going…”  
“No! I can’t leave you behind. I’m going to take you to Belkend in the Albiore and you’re going to be fine, understand?” he chuckled at my determination.  
“Okay, fine, but don’t screw up.” he grunted as he tried to shift positions.  
“Asch! Let me do that…” I gently touched his shoulders and eased him into laying flat on his stomach. With a lot of effort and cringing, I pulled the two remaining swords out of him and tried to bind the wounds with what cloth I could rip from his God-General coat.  
“Let’s go. This might hurt but…” I stopped mid-sentence when I saw he had fallen unconscious. It scared me to see him like that, looking almost dead, but he was still breathing.  
I carried him towards the exit and met up with the group. They looked concerned, and Natalia was on the verge of crying.  
“Asch!” she said, “What happened to him?”  
“Oracle Knights. I was so stupid, I forgot to trade swords with him, and they got the better of him. But don’t worry. With a few stitches, I think he’ll be fine.” I smiled and struggled with the weight, and Guy kindly took him from me.  
“B-But… he’s bleeding so much!”  
“We’ll get to Belkend in no time if we hurry!” I said. “There’s no time for dawdling! Let’s go!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asch is in the hospital now. Will he be alright? And more importantly... will Luke be alright?

The door to the hospital in Belkend slammed open, hitting the wall and startling the doctor badly.  
“Oh, it’s the—It’s you, Luke.” he hesitated, but we all knew what he meant to say. “What’s wrong?”   
“It’s Asch. Swordfight wounds. Three of them.” I grunted as I lay Asch down on the operating table, stepping back to let the doctor have some room.  
“Hmm, I see. You did a good job binding them, but they’re going to need stitches.” he hesitantly peeled back the coat pieces to examine them further.  
“Th-thank you. Shall we step out now?”  
“Yes, I think that’ll be good.” I turned around to walk out, but a question settled on my tongue.  
“Doctor… Is Asch going to be okay?” there was a moment of silence as he thought, and it only made me more nervous.  
“I think so.” he nodded, which was encouraging, but my nerves still twisted and turned.  
“O-okay……Thanks.” I stepped out of the room and into the waiting room, followed by Guy and everyone else.  
Jade was pacing the room, Anise was sitting in a chair, staring at the floor, Tear was hugging a crying Natalia, and I was hunched over in a chair, head in my hands, with Guy rubbing my back comfortingly. All I could think about were things that could go wrong. The stitches could get infected; he could bleed to death. There were so many reasons he could die, and I couldn't stop it if it happened. Tears stung my eyes painfully, and I almost couldn’t hold them back. I rubbed them against my gloves.  
“He’s going to be fine, Luke.” Guy said. I didn’t respond. That’s what everyone had been telling me and it’s what I had been telling myself. It didn’t mean it was true. I wanted to believe that it was, but who was I kidding? He was more likely to die than not. Swordfight wounds weren’t easy to recover from. They cut up all your organs and made you lose blood and stuff. Asch would be dead by tomorrow. The thought echoed through my mind painfully and I let out a quiet sob. More came soon after, and I started sobbing loudly. Normally, I would be embarrassed beyond belief, but at this point I couldn’t care less about pride. All I wanted was for Asch to be okay and my brain was trying to convince me that wouldn’t happen.  
“Don’t cry Luke. It’s okay.” Guy rubbed my back more furiously, as if the friction would calm me down.  
“NO! IT’S NOT!” my voice cracked and I yelled way too loudly. I could feel everyone in the room turn and look at me. I knew exactly what they were wondering and I knew they’d figure it out soon enough. I wasn’t exactly hiding it well.  
“Just calm down. They’ll be done soon enough.” he continued rubbing my back in a circular motion. “Hey, I know, why don’t we go take a walk? It’ll clear your mind. Besides, it’ll be good to get some fresh air.” he started to get up and pulled my arm with him. I looked up from my curled up position and stared him right in the eyes and told him I wouldn’t be coming.  
“Come on, Luke. You need this.”  
“No. I won’t leave this chair until the surgery is over. I’ll eat here and sleep here forever if I have to.” a tear slipped down my face and I rubbed it away hastily.   
“I insist. Let’s go.” he started tugging even more forcefully on my arm.  
“You can’t make me!” I whined like a little kid.  
“Jeez, Luke! Stop whining! I practically raised you so I know what’s best. Come with me.” I sighed. As much as I wanted to resist… he was beginning to convince me. I knew he was right, so I stood up and followed him out of the clinic.  
It was evening. The sun was setting over the mountains. The sunset was orange and pink and purple and overall stunning. I couldn’t help but stare for a minute until I remembered why I was out there. I stared down at the metal floor of Belkend as I walked away from the research center.  
“Wait up, Luke.” he jogged behind me and put his hand on my shoulder. I stopped at the edge of the steps and he bumped into me. I couldn’t think of anything to say to him.  
“See? Isn’t it nice out here? The air is fresh and cool and the sunset is beautiful. Takes all the stress away.” Guy patted my shoulder roughly and laughed. All I could do was stay silent. How could he be so happy in this situation? Wasn’t he worried about Asch? Maybe he isn’t, I thought. After all, he is our enemy. None of us should like him. There was a pang in my chest. I shouldn’t like him. Guy’s sunny disposition suddenly left and he looked at me seriously.  
“I know you’re worried about Asch. How could you not be? But you need to take it easy. If you worry yourself too much it isn’t good for you. You just need to not think about it until it’s all over. Then it’ll be fine… and everyone’ll be happy. It may be impossible for you to take this advice, but I want you to listen to it anyway.” I understood the words he was saying, and I understood their meaning, but they still somehow didn’t get through. I couldn’t comprehend how to take his advice. My breath trembled and the tears returned to my eyes.   
“Wanna go back in?” he said, looking up at the darkening sky. I nodded.  
~o0o~  
“Luke! Thank Yulia you’re back!” Tear rushed over to me as soon as I walked in, a smile on her face.  
“What is it?” I said, but I already knew. Hope surged in me.  
“The surgery was successful; Asch is okay. He’s still sleeping… but the doctor said he might be able to hear you. So… you should… talk to him…” she trailed off at the end, looking down at her hands. This is how I knew she knew.   
“But what about Natalia?” I gulped, “Doesn’t she want to see him?”  
“I understand, Luke.” Natalia walked up beside Tear. She was smiling brightly, even though her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were tear-stained. “I want you to see him. I’m sure he would prefer you over me anyway.” I flushed. They all knew somehow, and it was embarrassing as hell. Way more embarrassing than sobbing in front of all of them.  
“Th-thanks.” I looked down for a moment and then reached my arms out, thinking she may want a hug. Her expression turned from sadness to shock, and her eyes watered.   
“J-Just go, just… just go.” she rubbed her eyes and stepped away from me. I hated myself for breaking her mask.  
“Okay.” I said, and walked slowly over to the clinic door. The doctor greeted me there with a calm smile.  
“Asch is going to be just fine. He’ll take a while to heal… but other than that he should be as good as new. You can go in, if you want. He’s asleep; he’ll probably wake up in a couple of days or so.”  
“Thank you.” I smiled my first true smile in months. After all, without this doctor, Asch would be dead.  
“It’s only my job, Luke. Now, go in already.” he smiled heartily and patted my back as I walked into the room.  
It was so silent. I felt nervous instantly. The unsettling smell of the doctor’s supplies heightened the feeling, but as soon as I rounded to corner and saw Asch lying there, it left me. He looked so peaceful. Even though he was pale and clammy, he looked more beautiful than the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Cliché, but true. I sat down on the bed next to him, and I knew I loved this man. This beautiful, angry creature from whose image I was created. I loved him so much.  
I twisted my torso and set my hand on the other side of him. Leaning forward, I kissed him slightly on the lips. One of my tears landed on his face. I brushed it off lightly with my thumb.   
I didn’t know what else to do. So I just sat there with him, staring at the wall and waiting for something to happen. I broke out of my trance minutes later, remembering everyone else that existed in my life.  
I stood up quickly and turned to leave, but before I did, I looked at Asch one more time. Then I walked out of the room and fetched Natalia.  
“Natalia, I know you don’t want to for… whatever reason…,” I flushed, “but you have to. He’s your childhood friend and technically your fiancée.”  
“Okay, fine. I will. But only because I want to! Not because you told me to or anything…” she looked away and huffed, causing a smile to return to my face. She walked away and closed the door quietly behind her, like a child sneaking around at night. I realized how much she loved Asch. She possibly loved him more than I did. After all, she’d known him for longer so she’d gotten to know him well. I hadn’t even known him for a year and look where that’d gotten me.  
“So, Luke, are you quite alright now?” Jade asked. He looked prim and proper as always, his hands clutched behind his back and not a single hair out of place. “That was quite a show you put on earlier.”  
“I-I’m fine. Stop nosing around in my business.” I blushed redder than before and turned away. He chuckled, amused and proceeded to pace out of the clinic and into the better part of the lab.  
“Do you have a crush on Asch?” Anise said, her squeaky voice piercing my ears. Her hands were on her hips and she was pouting like the brat that she was.  
“What do you care about it?” I huffed. These people always knew how to push my buttons. They also happened to know how to ask me questions I couldn’t answer without embarrassing myself.  
“Well, it’s pretty obvious, stupid. You started crying earlier like your mom died or something. It’s just dumb Asch. You don’t have to get so upset.”  
“I can get upset if I want to, brat.” I snarled. “If you hate him so much then why do you care who gets upset over him and who doesn't?”  
“I care because you care. I don’t want you to get all upset over Asch if he’s just gonna dump you anyway.” that did it. She officially rendered me redder than a tomato and speechless.  
“You don’t know anything! Go play with your toys, kid.”  
“I am not a kid! Don’t you ever say that again or I’ll tell everyone about your little secret.” a devious smirk crossed her face. I briefly worried but decided that it didn’t matter because pretty much everyone knew anyway.  
“Fine, whatever.” I sighed and brushed her off with a wave of my hand.  
“Luke, don’t be mean.” Tear said. I turned around to face her.   
“I wasn’t! She just annoys the hell out of me.” I tried to brush it off like it was nothing but I knew I was about to be questioned about the things I couldn’t answer.  
“So is what she said true? Do you… love Asch?” she gulped.  
“That’s not what she said.” I stared at a chair to her right. It was fascinating.  
“You know what I mean, Luke, stop being difficult and answer my question.”  
“…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it.  
“Luke.” her tone was more forceful now, like a mother trying to demand the truth behind a white lie.  
“You know the answer.” I looked straight into her eyes. They reminded me so much of Van’s. So much strength and courage. But now I saw what was really there. Raw fear and pain, so clear it was like I could reach out and touch it. And if I really could I would pull it right out of her so she wouldn’t feel like that any more. She was silent as I walked away, but I knew that behind me her shoulders were shaking with hidden sobs, slowly seeking their way out of her throat and into the crisp night air. I wasn’t completely oblivious.  
I didn’t even know where I was going. To find Guy, maybe. He had wandered off at some point… and I thought he might have something to say also, like everyone else had. I knew he had already told me everything he would at the steps earlier; I needed an excuse to leave so I wouldn’t see Tear cry because of me. I didn’t need more heartbreak.  
I went around every twist and turn until I finally ended up back at the clinic. I hesitated at the door. I didn’t know what would await me inside. For all I knew, it was just Tear in the corner with her shaking shoulders. But what if everyone was back? What if they all hated me for hurting Tear? I couldn’t face it now.   
I opened the door anyway and stepped inside. The scene was exactly as I feared. They were all here. Guy and Jade, observing solemnly while Anise and Natalia tried their best to comfort Tear. I saw myself in her. I was sitting just like her hours before, with friends comforting as I sobbed mercilessly. I knew who was at fault here this time. It wasn’t because of a petty almost-murder. It was because of unintentional heartbreak. Tear loved me and I loved her too but she was a sister to me, not a partner or a girlfriend or anything remotely similar. I had only even realized this important fact hours before, when she talked to me like she knew the world was ending.  
I took one step, and all eyes except hers were on me. They all glared. Guy walked right up to me, anger in his gait, and grabbed my shirt collar. I was hefted into the air by strength I didn’t know existed.  
“How could you, Luke? I knew you were stupid, but I didn’t know you were this stupid!” he growled under his breath, so Tear wouldn’t hear.  
“I-I’m sorry! I—!” I was cut off by him gruffly pushing me against the wall.  
“Don’t even try to say anything! Nothing can fix what you’ve done! Do you know how much she loves you? And then for you to say directly to her face that you love your fucking original, and not her? The one who’s been there for you this whole time? You’re such a fucking idiot!” I didn’t realize the extent of anger I’d caused him until now. Of course, I knew about the whole “idiot” thing from the beginning. I knew I was stupid. Even when I tried to be noble, I made mistakes. I whined and complained and acted like a heartless fool. I was like a not-so-innocent-toddler: unfamiliar in the ways of the world and unwilling to find out about them. But now I had done the worst I could, and not even by choice. I loved Asch by force of nature. If I could’ve I would’ve chosen Tear, but things just didn’t work out that way. If I tried to say it now, though, it would land me a nice, big, swollen eye.   
I flinched as he shoved me closer to the wall. His hand was crushed so awkwardly against my throat I could scarcely breathe and was starting to panic. I grabbed his arm as best I could and flailed my legs, gasping pathetically under the hold of my best friend. No matter how good I was at gasping out words, he’d never understand them. It was now or never.  
I dug my fingernails into the cloth of his shirt to somehow indicate that he might be taking my life from me by the second. His grip did not loosen; it only tightened. Smart, Luke; that was really smart. I thought, trying not to turn blue. I really could not breathe at all by this point and was struggling quite hard. I looked directly into Guy’s eyes but I couldn’t see a trace of friendship or mercy there. Only blind hatred. I didn’t realize he felt so severely about this, I thought, he won’t even let me explain myself. My thoughts went wild and all over the place and even impossible for me to understand as I drew closer and closer to passing out. I felt each individual knuckle crushing my windpipe. They were fiery hot and engulfing me in flames of pain. My brain was pounding. I needed oxygen now.  
“Alright, Guy, that’s enough. Don’t want to kill our hero.” I heard Jade’s voice in the distance. The hand left me and I slumped to the floor. I couldn’t think well but all I knew is that I could breathe and there was oxygen and that was good.   
A few moments passed before I noticed anything else. When my eyes finally could open themselves again I noticed Tear standing above me, looking very worried. She kneeled down beside me and I turned to look her right in the eyes like I had before.  
“I’m so sorry,” cough, “I really didn’t mean to hurt you so badly. I’m such an idiot I didn’t even realize your feelings. All I thought about was me, me, me. How I felt and what I needed and then I didn’t even realize that I was hurting you bit by bit. Please, I’m so sorry.”  
“It’s okay, Luke.” she smiled; it was fake, “Well, actually, it’s not okay. I just said that to make you feel better. It’s completely not okay but I forgive you anyway because I’m in love with you. I’m very happy that you and Asch have this… thing… and I hope you can live it to its fullest.” she stood back up and brushed her skirt off. Thing? I thought.   
“…Thing?”  
“Yes, thing. I can’t think of what else to call it so—,”   
“Relationship. You could call it a relationship.” I said, standing up after her and clutching the wall so I wouldn’t lose my balance. I was still very dizzy.  
“Yes, I could, but would that change anything? Besides, you call Mieu ‘thing,’”  
“No, that’s different! Mieu’s a thing because Mieu’s weird!”  
“Exactly. And your little ‘relationship’ is weird! He’s your original, for Yulia’s sake!” she tossed her arms up angrily and then folded them.  
“I—! I know, okay? But what am I supposed to do about it? I didn’t ask for this, you know. It sure is weird being in love with my original but it’s not like I chose this! It’s not my fault!”  
“This isn’t Akzeriuth, Luke, it’s a simple relationship. Don’t use the same words.” that stung like a thousand needles stabbing my heart. She sure knew how to throw words around.  
“But see, this time it’s true, Tear. It isn’t my fault. If you don’t believe me, I’m sorry, but it’s true, and I would really love it if we could stop arguing now.” I said it all in one breath.  
“Fine. I’m going to bed.” she walked out of the clinic and shut the door behind her quietly, to my surprise. I’d expected her to slam it or something. Natalia answered my question for me.  
“She’s still sad. She’s trying to cover it up with anger, but she’s too soft for that,” she smiled weakly, “I know how she feels.”  
Another stab.  
“I’m sorry, Natalia, I—,”   
“Don’t apologize for something you can’t control, alright? Besides, I’m very happy for you too. Just… try to… ugh! I don’t even know what I’m saying any more. I think I need to go to bed. In fact, why don’t we all head out? Jade, Anise, Guy, let’s go.” she turned away abruptly and assumed boss mode like nothing had ever happened.  
“Wait, what about me?” I said.  
“You’ll stay here, of course,” she said matter-of-factly.  
“But why?”  
“Because Asch is here, obviously. Why wouldn’t you stay with him? What if he wakes up? Won’t you want to be right by his side?” I fell silent. She was completely right and now I felt like a complete asshole for not even knowing why I should stay. I should’ve known that’d be the reason, anyway. I mean, they set up a spare cot and everything.   
“Alright. I’ll see you guys tomorrow, then?” I smiled hopefully, clutching my arms to fight against the cold.  
“See you.” she smiled and exited the room along with everyone else, leaving me alone in the waiting room. I wonder where the doctor is, I thought. After all, I’d need to know if I could sleep on the cot or not. It might be for something else. But as I approached the cot, I knew I wasn’t mistaken. There was a note on it addressed to me:  
Luke:  
This cot is for you. If you don’t stay here tonight, I’ll tell Asch so he can get angry with you. You may use the facilities as you like. Notify me if anything happens.  
-Doctor  
I laughed. This doctor sure has a sense of humor. I resented the thought as soon as it had shown up, remembering his reaction to me at my arrival. Everyone knew as well as I did what he was about to say. I closed my eyes and tried to shudder. I’d been called a replica before, so I should’ve been used to it. But it was still so new. Having someone call me a replica instead of my name was like a punch to the gut.  
I sighed and folded the note in half, tucking it into my coat. I looked at the door to Asch’s room. I wanted to be in there with him. Even if he didn’t wake up, being by his side would calm me. I propped open the door with a trash can and dragged the cot painstakingly inside. I didn’t want to sleep too close to Asch… It would be awful if the doctor walked in and saw it, so I stayed by the door. I reluctantly pulled off my coat and set it on a table, and then crawled into the uncomfortable bed.


End file.
